Welcome to the Brown Introverts Club
My freshman year at Brown is coming to a close, and I’m surprisingly fine with it. The fact that I won’t be able to use my...
Meeting Celebrities: Expectations vs. Reality
If you’re like me in that you suffer crippling bouts of social ineptitude whenever you meet someone you worship greatly admire, here are a couple...
Dining Hall Doom
It’s such an amazing feeling when you find lyrics that speak to your goddamn soul. When Joe Strummer of The Clash cooed, “I’m all...
How Invisible Are You?
I’d like to start off by saying that I am short. I’m 4’9 to be precise. I’m currently awaiting results from Ancestry.com to see whether...
Killing the Mood
There are a number of phrases you can say in the bedroom to kill the mood. Most of them probably involve your parents. However, there...
The Art of Laptop Stickers
When I arrived at college this fall, the front of my laptop was an empty canvas, just waiting to be filled. “But with what shall...
How Do You Like Your Eggs?
Egg and sperm donation are some of the only situations in this world that I’d be willing to call entirely “win-win.” If you donate,...
A Case for Breakfast
For the first quarter of your life, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when “scientists” and “leading researchers” and “your mom” tell you...
If People Were Bad Metaphors, I Was a Drizzle and She Was a Tepid Puddle
Warning: minor spoilers for crappy rom-com books and movies. I’d like to start off by defining the term Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG). MPDGs, as...
Don’t Be These People at Concerts!
To certain fellow audience members of last week’s concert at Lupo’s, I think I can speak for all of us when I say this concert...