Cacti Are Too Trendy
If you’re like me, your entire social media feed is populated by independent artists and craftspeople. No? That’s just a me thing? Good. Okay. Well...
An Etymological Study of “A Hoot and a Half”
“You’re a hoot and a half!” I exclaim after one of my peers delights me with a witticism or an amusing tale of woe. “Come...
My Top Three Strategic Power Cries
In one of the most dramatic and poignant moments in cinematic history, Helen Thermopolis tells her recently known-as-royalty daughter Mia “My mom always told me...
A Very MCM Analysis of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episode 4.13: The Nightman Cometh
Lately, I’ve been watching the same episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia over and over simply because it brings me joy. Although I have viewed...
What I Think You Think My Purple Hair Says About Me
I once wrote right here for The Rib about this weird, narcissistic idea I have. Essentially, I thought that not changing my hairstyle was the...
To Whom It May Concern: An Email Personality Test
In the same way that a mood ring can precisely detect your mood, so too can I accurately depict your personality based on how you...
Are You There Empire State Building? It’s Me, Abby
Like Margaret did to God, I asked the Empire State Building a lot of questions this summer. Unlike Margaret, these questions didn’t revolve around puberty....
The Rib’s Tomatoes: A Gal’s Guide To This Summer’s Box Office Hits
Hey everyone, it’s me, your local movie critic, your rag time gal, here to help you out with a pop culture pickle. Did you watch...
My Butt Touched the Shower Wall, So I’m in the Market for a New Butt
I thought it would never happen to me. I’ve always been so careful, tirelessly testing my depth perception, begging friends to play catch to enhance...
The Mill-Oedipal Complex
If there are two things I’ve learned in this life, it’s that 1) drinking more water solves all of life’s problems and 2) talking about...