My Favorite Bed Time Stories Are Serial Killer Case Files
Every night, before bed, I brush my teeth with gingivitis toothpaste and watch videos about serial killers. It’s a great routine. I prevent my gums...
What I Think You Think My Purple Hair Says About Me
I once wrote right here for The Rib about this weird, narcissistic idea I have. Essentially, I thought that not changing my hairstyle was the...
Meat, My Cruel Mistress
For the past three years at Brown, I have been at the whim of the campus meats. I salivated over egg and bacon sandwiches at...
Are You There Empire State Building? It’s Me, Abby
Like Margaret did to God, I asked the Empire State Building a lot of questions this summer. Unlike Margaret, these questions didn’t revolve around puberty....
The Fleeting Nature of Love and Weather Protective Gear
It was early September. I was caught between a rock and a hard place—the rock being a mom loudly debating the redeeming qualities of two...
The Everygirl’s Guide to Tinder
Well here I am, single again. No it’s cool, I’m okay, unfurrow your brows. Fortunately for all of us, I’m slowly but surely moving out...
Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends but with More Late Stage Capitalism
Her name was Alexis. She was everything I wasn’t at the time: a teen, a sophisticate, a brunette with a Parisian fashion sense, a person...
The Dangers of Online Bikini Shopping
I hate online shopping. I don’t understand how people do it. The clothes never look as good as they did online, or they don’t fit,...
Athleisure & Me
I peered out of my Grad Center window this morning and was blinded by pastels. I saw lacrosse shorts and cute-yet-impractical button-down-the-front skirts galore. After...
Always A Text Away!
Staying in contact with family and friends is an objectively good thing. It’s nice to know a bit about what shenanigans your family is engaging...