Getting Handsy
If you haven’t read part one, I suggest you go and read that first 🙂
People talk about the inaccuracies in porn all the time — the sexism, the frequency of female orgasm from penetration alone — but I’d like to add the lack of lubricant use to the list. Porn had lead me to believe that penises were naturally slippery objects? Or that they all had enough foreskin to move around with ease? I don’t know what I thought exactly but I was convinced that if I grabbed his flesh rod and pulled up with the force required to dislodge a wine cork from the bottle using a shitty hotel corkscrew my partner would be shaking with waves of ecstasy. Sorry Annie’s Friend’s first boyfriend, I was mistaken.
After some practice and a little unscented oat infused Aveeno lotion (sponsor me?) things went a bit more… smoothly ;)))))))))))). Puns!
Blessed by Italian genetics, I have about as much pubic hair as an adult gorilla has covering its entire body. Not ashamed. I have shaved my coochie exactly four times in my life. This is because each time has been a nightmarish experience resulting in three months of prickly ingrown hair rashy awfulness. After the fourth time I learned my lesson. As they say, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me four times and I’ll quit shaving all together, for some reason disappointing my older relatives”. So with a bush that could break a weedwacker, I get the privilege of having to direct every partner to not just to my clit, but to my ENTIRE FUCKING VULVA. He got there eventually.
This part still makes me feel sad. Two weeks before this night, I’d asked if we were “together”. He said “let’s go on a few more dates, then maybe we can say we’re dating”. There’s nothing wrong with that. We had really only been kissing for a week at that point. His fear of commitment just fuelled my belief that I wasn’t worthy. But after this day we were (for the next month), and I was happy.
After that, he did some pussy eating and I did some dick sucking. I accidentally scraped his penis tip at one point, whoops, but overall it was just two people learning to navigate another body.
Everything shared is 100% true with no exaggeration. Tune in next week for Ep. 6 pt 3 (the last part) to see what Annie’s Friend does next.
Images via. Lucinda Drake