Clubs to Start if The Ones at Brown Already Aren’t Niche Enough for You
A quick visit to the Activities Fair will show that Brown is nowhere near short on clubs, teams, and organizations to join. A capella? Brown has...
It’s The 5 Year High School Reunion and It’s Time To Find Out Who Vapes
Welcome to the 5 year high school reunion! We’re packing it all in: jello-shots in the locker room, unsupervised grinding to the greatest hits of...
www.conspiracytheories.net/tombrady+krisjenner
Hey guys, it’s Patti (@theparanoidbitch on Twitter) back with another #TheoryThursday. I just gotta start off by saying that we here at conspiracytheories.net have not...
My Application for “Married at First Sight”
Married at First Sight is a reality show masquerading as a “””social experiment””” to conceal the undeniable fact that is crazy, nutso, and overall, bonkers. A...
Thanks for Interrupting Me in Class!
Oh, hey Matthew!* Funny seeing you here, in this class that we take together. How are you? Oh, ha ha, that’s a funny story! You’re right,...
Do You Even Cough?
Dear Girl who was clearing her throat for the entirety of class, At first I thought it was just a tickle of the throat. After all, that...
A Star is Born
Even though I’m a celebrity now, I’m still the same old Allie Greenberg. My career has taken off after my breakout interview with WJAR NBC...
On Navigating Cuffed Jeans During Winter
When I first arrived to campus, I urgently tried to assimilate to Brown’s culture. I didn’t want to stand out as an obvious newcomer within...
Puritan Suburbia
ELIAS: Good morrow, neighbor! How fares thee on this fine day? JEZEBEL: Good morrow, Elias. ‘Tis a fine day indeed. I’m faring well, sweeping my porch and...
The Trials of (Cactus) Motherhood
While hustling to the Ratty on a mission for tater tots and Rhody Fresh milk, I was distracted by a casual yet calculated display of...