Rib Beef: Babies vs. Old People
(in collaboration with Nicole Martinez) A carefree, tinkling giggle. The dampened whinny of a nose being blown into a monogrammed cotton handkerchief. These are the...
Staying Forever Young
It’s common knowledge that growing up is kind of the worst. It’s a world full of responsibility, stress, caffeine headaches, and “business casual” attire. Plus,...
10 Things That Are Super Cute (And Totally Shouldn’t Be)
1. Those tiny forks you get at fancy restaurants. Holy hell, it’s tiny. Why? Why is it so tiny? What food could possibly exist that...
Staring Contest: A Champion’s Guide to Staying That Way
Last spring, on one of those beautiful sunny days when you feel like the whole world is birthday cake and tulips, I was sitting on...