My Application for Four Weddings
To Whom It May Concern at Casting for TLC’s “Four Weddings:” Hello. My name is Sarah Clapp and I would like to be on “Four...
My Application for “Married at First Sight”
Married at First Sight is a reality show masquerading as a “””social experiment””” to conceal the undeniable fact that is crazy, nutso, and overall, bonkers. A...
On Weddings (More Specifically, Mine)
Last weekend, I went to my cousin’s beautifully scientific wedding. To steal a line from beloved SNL figure and cultural correspondent Stefon, this wedding had...
A Wedding Whirlwind in the Upspace
It started out like any other Sunday morning. I was dehydrated, still wearing last night’s smeared mascara, and suffering from an insatiable craving for Bagel...
The Woes of Being a Spoiled Only Child
No one wants to listen to an only child talk about his or her problems. It’s a fact. Everyone has this idea that only children have the...