A Recipe for the Perfect Millennial Woman
Here’s how you make her. It shouldn’t be too hard – the ingredients aren’t particularly hard to come by. 3/4 of a share in an eco-friendly...
What Women Want: More Accurate Jeopardy! Answers
This past Monday, beloved dinnertime game show Jeopardy! included a category entitled “What Women Want.” Rather than address legitimate necessities, however, it emphasized our fragile...
Tampon Shaming is the New Black
Over the summer I was hustling to CVS on a mission for tampons. I proudly strutted to the “feminine care” aisle and chose the cutest,...
The Never-Mentioned Pros of Long Distance
It’s an all-too-common scene. Innocent girl discloses her relationship status to a friend – “Yeah, we’re doing the long distance thing” – and immediately gets...
This Is What Happens When You Decide to Wax Your Armpits
There have been many moments in which it begins to haunt you. You Nair them an hour and a half before your Bat Mitzvah...
The Detachable Penis
After an endless week, I had finally made it to the weekend. I staggered to my room, collapsed into a chair, and dumped the contents...
Getting your Boyfriend to Accept that Girls Poop Too: A 3-Step Program
All right, everyone, the year is 2014 so I think it’s time. The era of shit shame must come to a close. It may be hard,...
Snapchat: The Hard Way to Look Easy
To my potential love interest, Favorite my tweets, like my Instagrams, comment on my status, inbox me, message me, text me, oh hell, even “poke”...