Imagine: it’s -2 degrees out. It’s a snowstorm. You, cooped up in your dorm with your two actual roommates and three bitches who never leave your dorm, huddle around a ResLife contract-violating candle. Yeah, so at this point, there are 4 bottles of wine that have been consumed. You’re laughing, life is good, you and your ex have been broken up for 6 months, you’re blissfully single. At that moment, one of your friends turns to you, “I’m so happy we stayed friends after the breakup. I didn’t know you that well, but your ex is such a cunt.” Yes! You laugh along, your ex is such a cunt. “He called you a bitch after you broke up, and I’m sooooooo glad I didn’t believe him.” Damn, you thought you guys broke up on good terms. Fuck that bitch! You drink enough to black out.
You wake up at 7 AM with the Sun, ugh….what even happened last night? You still have the sinking feeling—your ex totally sucks. You check your phone—one notification—it’s CoStar: Listen when others give you feedback. Your ex totally blows. Your ex is good at sucking and blowing.