Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate
And a miracle or two?
The RattyLand can! Or it can at least do something like that…
Many a student has set foot in the Sharpe Refectory to partake in a meal, but many fewer have witnessed the behind-the-scenes hustle and bustle happening just below their feet. You may be under the impression that the Ratty’s basement is just like any other industrial-grade kitchen facility and that would be correct wrong. Just like everything about Brown, this place is unique. A destination that must be seen to be believed. A world of pure imagination, rather like Willy Wonka’s glorious chocolate factory. But RattyLand, although this may seem impossible, is even more magical, because instead of Oompa Loompas, it employs beloved children’s film characters who are looking for a more peaceful way to spread the love and magic after leaving the movie business. It’s an experience like no other, an experience meant to be… experienced. If ever presented with the opportunity—with the metaphorical golden ticket—come visit RattyLand, the magical, mystical world beneath the dining hall!
Hoping to spy a chocolate river? RattyLand doesn’t have one, but what they do have is even better! That vat of cheese sauce next to the French fries every day? Each pot is ladled fresh from the bright orange river of cheese flowing through RattyLand. But don’t just admire it from afar: enjoy a slow-moving boat ride through this vibrant and viscous goo and look for schools of elbow noodles darting around, on their way to the macaroni and cheese pan. And the best part? Wallace and Gromit, retired from their moon-cheese voyages, have come to RattyLand to drive the boat! Their witty banter, charming claymation smiles, and genuine cheese-adoration make this boat ride an unforgettable experience. However, it would be best to avoid imitations of either character, as they do not take kindly to being mocked.
Just around the corner is the RattyLand bake shop, a site of confectionary wizardry and sugar galore. Remember the sassy gingerbread man from Shrek? After surviving three movies of terrible luck, he decided to leave Far Far Away forever and dedicate his life to baking delicious desserts for Brown students. He really connects to his work on a spiritual level (almost as if he understood what it was like to be a cookie?), which explains why the desserts that leave RattyLand are so sweet and irresistible. And have you ever wondered where the crushed Oreos for the soft serve come from? Gingy is still angry at Lord Farquaad for breaking his legs (pretty valid reason to be angry, tbh) and likes to channel this wrath into demolishing Oreos with a rolling pin. During a tour of his bake shop, Gingy will offer you the opportunity to join in the smashing fun. And he never lets guests leave the bakeshop without a warm cookie in their stomach, so come hungry!
Another must-see stop is the RattyLand dish line. Have you ever asked yourself who cleans the fine china upon which you dine? Let’s just say that RattyLand came by its name honestly. After his role in Ratatouille ended, Remy moved his whole rat #squad to Rhode Island and found that RattyLand was in need of some furry dishwashers. It was like a match made in rat heaven! The sheer magnitude of dirty dishes proved to be overwhelming, even for such expert cleaners, so these rodents reached out to some friends for help: Cinderella’s little mouse helpers! Even after so many years in the spotlight they have not lost their sunny dispositions as they work all night and all day. They treat RattyLand visitors to a real show, as they zip around teacups and saucers with soapy sponges and sing their chirpy songs. Pure magic, mere feet below the Ratty dining room!
RattyLand truly is a hidden gem on this campus. It’s more than a kitchen: it’s fun, it’s fancy, it’s fresh. RattyLand was made to be seen. If an opportunity comes your way, don’t let it go to waste. Who knows–you might be the Charlie Bucket of RattyLand!
