My homies, it’s time to face the truth: Mean Girls, arguably the defining movie of our generation, is eleven years old. Even though we’ll keep quoting it until we’re 80, some things could use a few updates. It’s time to unleash the Cool Mom of 2015.
We’re all familiar with Amy Poehler’s spot-on performance as Regina George’s mom. She’s not a regular Mom. She’s a cool Mom. She’s part-plastic (read: fake boobs) and she carries around a Chihuahua. She gives the Plastics non-alcoholic martinis (unless they want alcohol, in which case, she’d rather they do it in the house), and even offers Regina and her boytoy some snacks or a condom while they’re mackin’ on the bed. But, our Cool Mom of 2015 has definitely picked up new fashion trends, dance moves, and lingo.
A Cool Mom of 2015 isn’t wearing a pink velour tracksuit, mostly because Juicy Couture has closed all U.S. stores. Honestly, what are we going to do without all those rhinestone-encrusted shirts, and pants that say “Juicy” on the butt? Anyway, our new Cool Mom’s closet probably holds high-waisted jeans, crop tops, rompers, and ankle boots. She has a variety of t-shirts with relatable sayings, like “I’d rather be listening to Drake,” or “I’m quitting life and becoming Gigi Hadid.” She isn’t afraid to rock a man bun, she’s a boss at winging out her eyeliner, and her eyebrow game is stronger than yours will ever be.
Dance moves have changed considerably since Mean Girls came out. A Cool Mom of 2015 is doing the whip, the nae nae, the stanky leg, and maybe some twerkin’. She pays attention to the media to catch emerging dance trends, so she’s already seen the video of Bernie dancing behind the scenes on Ellen and added his moves to her repertoire. She shows off her sick dancing ability when she goes to “da club” with her “squad.”
As for the lingo, this Mom isn’t saying “what’s the 411?” or “what’s the hot gossip?” She’s using slang like “erryday,” “turnt,” “AF,” “bae,” and “yas.” Here are a few examples of ways a Cool Mom of 2015 might incorporate modern pop cultural references into everyday life:
“I was so busy at work. Like, the whole day I was running…through the six with my woes!”
“I’m about to whip up some grub. Anybody want macaroni and cheese? Is it a yeah? Or a nae nae?”
“Did you see that new movie about the machete-wielding serial killer? Gosh, he really slayed!”
Mean Girls will stay in our hearts forever. We should keep wearing pink on Wednesdays and trying to make “fetch” happen. Regardless, we should also respect that the times have changed, and keep our eyes peeled for the Cool Mom of 2015.
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