It’s an all-too-common scene. Innocent girl discloses her relationship status to a friend – “Yeah, we’re doing the long distance thing” – and immediately gets the long distance facial expression, the face that says both “Oh, how fortunate that you’re going to try to make it work” and “Oh, how unfortunate that you’re going to try to make it work.” It’s a face of pity, really, and – being in an LDR myself – one that I am all-too familiar with. While long distance has definite downsides – downsides which people take a sadistic pleasure in repeating to me over and over – it also has some (perhaps hidden) upsides. While long distance may not be for everyone, I’ve found myself actually enjoying it, and here’s why:
- You have to worry a lot less about what you look like – If you don’t see your partner on a day-to-day basis, personal grooming becomes a maybe. Okay, I’m not saying you don’t have to shower. You definitely still have to shower. Please shower. But if no one is going to pay close attention to your legs, you don’t necessarily have to shave them. Nor do you have to take care of those belly hairs that make you feel like a centaur (that no one notices, honestly). Armpit hair? Go for it! Hell, not tweezing the hair from that mole on your chin even gives you a mini beard to tug on when you’re deep in thought! You can start looking like a billy goat and no one will have to know – so long as you clean up a little before your love comes to visit. That being said, if your significant other cares about you enough to do long distance, they probably don’t give a shit about your body hairs anyway. Just saying. Also, resembling Sasquatch could help you repel any creeps who might want to bother you when you go out. Unless they’re SUPER creepy. Then they’re into that.
- You get to have your own life – Not having to see your S.O. all the time is extraordinarily underrated. Yes, it’s nice to have them around to snuggle sometimes (especially in those frigid winter months), but spending whole weekends with just your friends, watching them go through the most senseless hookup drama while you sit back and enjoy your committed relationship, is really great. So yeah, you can’t spend your Friday night getting drunk and crying on your boyfriend’s shoulder until he orders you a pizza. But it’s a blessing to be able to get drunk and cry on someone else’s shoulder every once in a while (and you get pizza either way). And you get so much free time! Time you once spent laying in bed arguing about who loves who more (okay, fine, arguing about who’s going to get up to get the laptop charger), can now be spent on any number of cool activities. Me? I’m going with Taiko drumming.
- Seeing your partner goes from normal to incredible – I once saw my boyfriend every day for a week and it made seeing him just about as underwhelming as hearing the 20th Century Fox Theme played on a recorder. When you don’t get to see your S.O. for a while, it makes everything you would normally do together feel special! Whether you’re making a semi-religious pilgrimage to Bagel Gourmet (I mean, the place IS heaven), eating three bowls of Ratty soft serve, or watching Orange is the New Black and wondering what you’re both going to go to jail for (my boyfriend’s going down for insider trading, no doubt), you feel grateful just to have your love by your side. If you see each other too much, you might find yourself arguing extensively about really pointless stuff. So whether you live together or only see each other every few months, giving each other space is crucial – Seriously. Stop fighting about whether the VDub or Ratty is better. Long distance builds the necessary space for your relationship to always feel exciting and fresh.
Really, I’m not fooling anyone – nor am I trying to. Long distance can be extremely difficult. But you can make it work. The trick is to find every ray of sunshine in your time together that you can. And hopefully, if they mean that much to you, your partner is just that dose of sunshine that you need.
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