Life & Other Drugs, On "The Hill"

Let’s Go Streaking!

December 7, 2016

I’m undoubtedly just as much of a millennial as most people on Brown’s campus. I refer to being responsible as “adulting,” I take frequent selfies, and I engage in the occasional 12 hour binge-watch…

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But my current state of mental confusion as to what the HELL the obsession with Snapstreaks is makes me feel as though I am no more technologically adept than my mother. And keep in mind, this is the woman who has coined such sweet phrases as “the snappy-chat” and “THE Facebook,” and who, despite several tutorials by me, continues to type with one finger.  I’ll admit I allow myself to fall prey to some sort of intangible need to maintain Snapstreaks (i.e. succumbing to friendly peer pressure and sending a useless picture of my face to retain that little fire emoji), but I frankly have no idea why.

I questioned a hall mate, Gokul Ajith ’20, on why he is so attached to his Snapstreaks, and I genuinely just want answers as to why this would be anyone’s response:

“To me a Snapchat streak is a bond that is second only to a wedding ring. I’ve lost some of my best friends simply because I refuse to speak to them after they have broken a Snapchat streak with me. It’s more than a streak; it’s a lifestyle.”

Shocking.  But, a main point of confusion to me in this whole affair is why anybody cares considering they are the only one who sees their streaks.  Like, ‘ahhh nice, so and so amount of people sent me a potentially shitty picture of the floor with 0 wording for so and so amount of days!!! #winning.’  Where would there be any satisfaction in this??  But, I recently discovered that people will compare how many streaks they have–making a strange game out of the whole affair.  This competition is based not only on quantity of streak partners, but also duration of streaks.  How methodical!

On first look, this appears to be an interesting contest, giving the youngins an opportunity to assert superiority, but I beg to differ that the real winners here are the ones who don’t give a fuck about maintaining their streaks.  I mean honestly, is my generation truly so fragile that our measly egos rest on the presence of a cartoon fire???  Imagine the multitude of things these snap-obsessed fiends could be accomplishing if they diverted their time away from Snapchat and towards a number of more worthy causes: beating the world record for Jo’s mozza stick consumption, fitting in another (highly necessary) nap, modeling the incredibly fashionable ways you can wear sweatpants, or even mastering the art of waking up at 8:54 and still making it in time to your 9 a.m.

So, the next time you are harassed for allowing streaks to die, or even if you’re the harasser, remember that there are far better things you could be doing with your time.  Turn that wasted time into nap time and this could be you:

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Valuable lessons.

 

Image viavia, and via.

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