The Prefrontal Cortex Blues

It’s Wednesday night, and I have a ton of work to do. I go home to make dinner, and, while I wait for the water to boil, I decide to humor myself and put on an episode of Game of Thrones (this is my first mistake). There are only 20 minutes left of the episode that I’m watching, so it won’t hurt to finish it. I begin eating my dinner to the sounds of people stabbing each other’s eyes out (yum!). The episode concludes, but I haven’t finished my meal! I have no choice but to start another episode. After all, eating alone is depressing and I can’t develop the Off Meal Plan Blues. I have too much work to fall into self-indulgent loneliness today. Putting on another episode is an investment in me.

Three hours later, I am still watching. I mean, how can I stop watching after the cliff-hanger at the end of season 5? You, my reader, can understand, I’m sure. It is now 11 pm, and therefore far too late for little old me to go to the library alone. Instead, I watch TV until midnight, and then I spend two hours dancing to ABBA with my roommates. At 9 am the next morning, when I have not written my paper or slept more than 6 hours, I am a sad girl. Days like this, I really wish I had a trusty prefrontal cortex.

The prefrontal cortex, or PFC, is the area of the brain that is responsible for, well, your capacity to act like an adult. Because the brain is hierarchically organized (we think), the PFC extends its reach over the other areas of your brain, like those responsible for decision-making, and forces them into order. Once your PFC develops, you should have the capacity to override the need for instant gratification that is usually at play when you, say, stay up too late or wait to write your paper until the last minute. Instead, you can make decisions that will be more rewarding later than what is most rewarding now. I don’t know about you, but getting eight hours of sleep usually makes me feel like an angel has descended from heaven to bless me. Or like Michael Fassbender just gave me his phone number. Either way, eternal bliss will be within reach once I have the mental faculties to get my shit together.

Also, a fun fact: I am writing a cognitive neuroscience thesis about the way that anxiety might negatively impact our ability to act intelligently. So there you have it – maybe your anxiety about the paper you have to write is the very thing that’s making you procrastinate. Or maybe it’s the fact that your brain doesn’t fully finish building your PFC until you’re 25 or 26. Basically, we all have a long way to go before we can truly be held accountable for our decisions. So, until then, go nuts!

As many people here at Brown can probably understand, I spent many of my teenage years shrugging off instant gratification and studying for standardized tests. So now that I’m 21 – which means that I’m the baby of the adult world – I have regressed to behaving how teenage Sarah would have wanted to. Sure, I have a presentation tomorrow morning, but I’m sure as hell going to go to the bar tonight. Yes, I have a 20-hour-long coding assignment due Monday, but it is imperative that I nap before I start working. I need to be well-rested to do the assignment well! I’m teaching and “inspiring young minds” in the morning (I’m just so giving, I know, you don’t have to tell me) but I definitely have to watch Jane Eyre with Michael Fassbender right now. RIGHT NOW, I TELL YOU! What better time than 1 am?

I’m hormonal and impulsive. I am addicted to the rush that accompanies deciding to goof off instead of do homework. One Wednesday a few weeks ago I got on a bus and went all the way to Newport to get margaritas with my housemates. Why did I do that, you ask? Because I wanted to. And because I didn’t have a PFC to tell me not to. The next morning was the first time that I missed class because I was hungover. I’m ashamed not of my actions, but of how long it took me to get to this point. I can’t reach my peak irresponsibility my senior year – I have a thesis to write. But, wait, do I have to write one? Shoot, making smart decisions is hard!

In short, I simply cannot wait to “act my age” and “make responsible decisions.” But since the PFC doesn’t fully develop until we’re around 25 or 26 years of age, I guess I have a few more years to loaf around. I mean, it’s not my fault! My brain’s not developed yet!

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