Smells Like Progress: Snapchat Update

Snapchat is in its golden age. Since the advent of the face swap feature, more people than ever have been cranking out a bunch (read: surplus) of charming (read: annoying) and fun (read: only entertaining to the people in the photo) snaps! But I still felt like the app was missing something. The answer came to me as I walked the halls of Keeney Quad:

Smell.

We should be able to snap smells to our friends! I mean, how is this not a thing yet?! I decided then and there to take matters into my own hands and design the next best Snapchat feature. Sure, I have yet to take any kind of STEM class at Brown, but I can probably do this!

Think of the possibilities! As I walk through Keeney, I am not just overwhelmed by the smell of weed, but also by my desire to share my olfactory experience. I want nothing more than to take my phone, record the smell, and send it to my friends on campus and beyond, thereby letting them know what I deal with on a day to day basis.

Imagine this: You hit the gym, pump some iron, and return home feeling proud of your hard work. You want to brag about your healthy choices, so you whip out the ol’ phone, record your post-workout B.O., and smugly send it to your closest friends. Nothing says, “I’m confident and have my shit together” like snapping the smell of raw sweat to the masses!

Your flirtation game will also become stronger thanks to the new update. After you take that selfie with a carefully executed scrunched up, silly – but definitely not full-on ugly – face for your crush, put the cherry on top by recording the smell of your sexiest perfume or cologne. Like a master chef sprinkling spices on a prized meatloaf, you can subtly garnish your Snapchats with scent to curate the perfect experience. Be sure to set the snap for five seconds or less, though. You’ll leave ‘em wanting more, and you’ll avoid the risk of your crush taking a screenshot of the smell. It is private, after all!

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This update isn’t just fun – it’s helpful. Consider this: It’s Thanksgiving day and you’re snapchatting well wishes to a friend. In an attempt to create an immersive experience, you record the smell inside your home and send the snap. Moments later, your friend responds with a picture captioned: “Thx! Is something burning in ur house?” You gasp and race to the kitchen. “Silly me! I forgot the turkey in the oven,” you chuckle, removing the semi-charred bird. Thanks to Snapchat’s new feature, you are able to salvage Thanksgiving meal and prevent a deadly fire!

This project is near and dear to my heart, so I’m determined to make it happen. I just have to redesign all smart phones, learn to code, and find loopholes for a couple scientific laws. Don’t you see that this is what the world needs? Wake up and smell the coffee, people! No, seriously, just open that Snap your friend sent you from Starbucks.

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