Sitting with Fitbit

by Emily Adams

Why should you Fitbit? Stop asking such a nonsensical, moronical, inconceivable question and start asking, why should you not Fitbit? With such a trendy, #tweetable name, you can’t go wrong!

At a hard hit to your bank account, any humble plebian with a hefty, disposable income can own one of these fun little fellas. You’re a struggling college student? No worries! You may blow your budget, but think of the expenditure as a cheat to your dream bod. After swiping that credit card, you won’t even be able to afford calories!

And don’t fret, this little bugger operates wirelessly, hooked to your bra and panties for a constant, under-the-underwear reminder, whether you move or not. Sitting on your couch has never been more supervised and nerve-wracking! Let it monitor your leisurely Netflix & Chill by syncing your #fitfriend to your phone. Just download the Fitbit app. Believe me, you won’t forget that you haven’t moved a foot, not even for a second. Eat another Hostess snack because there’s no fooling Fitbit!

Additionally, the app awards users with trophies for exerting energy, should they choose to. Push that extra mile for that… digital medal. Fitbit is forward thinking. They engage with reigning social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Be like Zuckerberg and share those hard-earned ribbons with your 850+ closest friends and family.

Maybe you need a few new friends. Bond over your digital trophy case with your #fitbuddies using the app’s social services. Plan a macchiato date and track your steps from the barista to the barstool or from the fridge to the television.

To anyone looking for a refreshing, enticing new way to measure their lack of productivity and generally unimpressive day to day existence, go for Fit! Life is #fitfun with Fitbit.

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