I truly embraced the rhyme in this more traditional selection of poems. Read alone.
Finals
Freshman fifteen
Finals five hundred
When all you consume
is pasta and muffins
your parents will gasp
when they see you huffin’
(and puffin’)
Ode to Peas
Frozen peas,
my favorite snack
You are embalmed
in an icy sack
A second verse
to you is due
But I don’t know
I feel like this much is fine
You’re just peas
Ode to Donald Drumpf
If scientists discovered
That you weren’t real
I would say “Oh
okay, I get it now”
HBO Go
HBO Go
Away
I’m trying to work
I didn’t mean that
I love you
Best friend
My Grandma
We call my grandma Lizzy Boo
She goes for walks and drinks wine too
The boo gets winded when buckling her seatbelt
and all times of year, sweats so much she could melt
The boo has no cat but mumbles a lot
Mumble mumble, she never stops!
My grandma could be just like yours
except mine drinks more wine
for sure
Ambition
She pulls a ZipCar mini-van up to a KFC drive-through
Watching Fox News Alone
This was a choice that I made once.
Fox & Friends Nose
You can pick your friends
and you can pick your nose
but if you pick your nose
you will be socially ostracized
and by default
you will have
no friends
Sorry, Blue State Coffee Employees
I’m sorry that I never tip
especially when
my order’s annoying
You may be thinking
I’m a jerk
but maybe you’re
a jerk as well
To sum it up
I don’t know you
and I don’t owe you
anything
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