If you’re like me, you’re a speedy walker. Sometimes you’re too speedy.
Because sometimes, you run (read: speed-walk) into problems.
And if you’re like me, you handle problems by ignoring them.
Here are seven solutions to your speed-walking problems, conceived by me:
an overly-efficient walker and underly-efficient problem solver.
1) You were walking with your friends, but now they’re 20 feet behind you.
The Solution: Get new friends!
2) You’re walking behind a stranger who’s almost-as-fast-as-you-but-not-quite, and now you’re just a liiiiittle too close for comfort.
The Solution: Take her into your arms and race for the stars, because we are stronger together than apart.
3) You slipped and fell on the ice because you’re speedy and careless and a fool.
The Solution: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, NATURE.
4) You reached the intersection when the red hand was flashing but you-have-SO-MUCH-momentum-and-maybe-you-could-make-it-if-you-ran-but-oh-wait-THERE’S-A-CAR-and ahhh what are you gonna do????
The Solution: Forget about where you were going and go to a different place.
5) You’re stuck in a conversation with someone who’s walking really slowly.
But like, with a longer rope.
6) You want to retrieve your water bottle from your backpack, but you don’t want to slow down.
The Solution: Wean yourself off material needs.
7) You’re stuck behind a party of 2 or 3 people who are occupying the entire width of the sidewalk.
The Solution: Befriend them! After all, you abandoned your old friends!