If you’ve been keeping tabs on my Rib articles this semester, you’ll know I’m slowly spiraling into an endless void of anxiety and existentialism as the reality of graduation looms ever closer. My senioritis hasn’t quite kicked in yet, so the whole thing’s been pretty terrifying so far. One thing I guess I have to look forward to as a perpetually single lady is Senior Scramble. Although there is that one minor problem which is…I don’t really want to do Senior Scramble the way we know it as, as a last ditch hook up attempt.
I want to propose an alternative option of Senior Scramble for people, like myself, that are still wrapped up in that big blanket of monogamy and emotions and insecurities. I know it’s not just me that wants this! I know there are people out there that aren’t personally super jazzed about casual hooking up! Or so my therapist tells me!
But Nicole, you doth protest, Senior Scramble doesn’t have to be a sexy, wham-bam-thank you-ma’am thing! It can really just be a list of people that you always wish you had gotten to know or people that you haven’t spoken to since freshman year and you really just want to catch up with! To that, I call bullshit! Senior Scramble reeks of sexual connotations, which is fine! But it’s not what I prefer. Which is why I’m proposing a second senior scramble option for those that have lists of people in their year that they wish they’d have dated, had the nerve to ask out for coffee, thought was really cute at a party but was physically incapable of flirting with, that sort of thing. Here’s a non-comprehensive list of people I imagine people one would include on this list. Hypothetically. Definitely not pulled verbatim from my personal life?:
- Your cute undergrad TA who you didn’t want to proposition or make uncomfortable on BBA but once the semester’s over wanna get coffee or something?
- Person from your freshman unit that gave you the only lap dance you’ve ever received in your entire life and what was that about, should we unpack that a little at the GCB?
- The person who’d always laugh at your jokes in discussion section but you never knew how to talk to outside class (until now?)
- Stranger who you chatted with briefly at a party and you’d really like to know more about their hopes, dreams, and fears over a falafel pocket, maybe?
- Whoever wrote a sweet BBA post about you that still makes you feel warm inside to this day, let me validate you over some drinks.
- Cute dude who complimented your costume at Monster Ball. Froyo sometime?
- That person you read opposite with at an audition who you’re positive you had amazing chemistry with, let’s check out some student theatre together.
- And so many more! The world is your oyster!
I feel like this alternative senior scramble will really take off for those that aren’t into the hook up nature of senior scramble, for whatever reason. I’m currently workshopping some names: Not Your Grandma’s Ordinary Senior Scramble; Senior Quiche(i like quiches), Senior Missed Conneggstions (like, missed connections?) Senior Peas in a Pod (not egg related, but I’m trying here). Please leave any suggestions you have in the comments below.