It's a Girl Thing

A Music Listening Guide for Queer Girls

March 16, 2017

Are YOU gay/bisexual/queer?

Do YOU identify as a woman?

Are YOU sick of media with representation that either A) ends in the queer character dying [I’m looking at you specifically, The 100] or B) sucks major ballsack????

Do YOU have a mini panic attack every time you have to come within a foot of a pigeon? (No? Just me? Okay.)

If you found that you answered yes to all of these questions, well this is your lucky day. I have compiled a list of some of my fav queer female artists for YOU. Yes, YOU! (Look, you probably already know who I’m about to list, considering the short list I’m working with here, but just roll with it.) (Also if you’re legitimately looking for underground artists that you haven’t heard of, then you should turn those expectations down a good few notches.)

NUMERO UNO: Hayley Kiyoko

Who dis chick: Yes, this is that girl from the DCOM Lemonade Mouth. You’ve probably seen her music video “Girls Like Girls.” It’s great. Actually, all of her music videos are great. Go watch them.

What should you listen to: All of it. It’s all fantastic. She just released a song called “Sleepover” and it’s great for some casual simping. (Simping: slang for listening to music while feeling bad for yourself. Most commonly used to connote that you’re reminiscing on a relationship. Used in a sentence: Rihanna’s Love on The Brain got me simping.)

When you should listen to this: After your aunt tells you and your girlfriend for the tenth time that night what cute friends you guys are.

Would I die for her: Probably


Who is DIS: Tbh I don’t really know much about her, but her music is dope. I highly recommend it for running. Although, I do not highly recommend running in general. In fact, I discourage it. Save yourself the excruciating pain.

What you should listen to: Her new album SweetSexySavage is perfect pump up music for any activity. I already mentioned running, but maybe you’re doing laundry. Fold your T-shirts as you twerk to ‘CRZY.’ Or pretend you’re the hoe you wish you were as you listen to ‘Distraction.’

When you should listen to this: As you pretend you’re going to talk to that cute girl in your biology class tomorrow, when we both know you’re not.

NUMERO TRES: Nicki Minaj

Who EVEN is this: Okay we all know Nicki Minaj. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. But, what most people don’t know, or like to ignore, is that this 1/3 of the holy trio (Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé) is bisexual.

Don’t believe me? Go listen to “I endorse these strippers.” In it she raps, and I quote, “I tell the hoes when they strip that they can play with my clit” and “boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, lotta boobs, man I make the baddest bitches send me nudes.” (And if I am wrong, please don’t tell me. I would rather live in denial than live in a world in which Nicki Minaj isn’t bisexual.)

When you should listen to this: Literally all the time. You can’t turn it off. It’s illegal.

NUMERO CUATRO: Lauren Jauregui

Okay, but who is this: THIS is ¼ (lmao bye Camila) of Fifth Harmony. She came out in a really poignant letter to Donald Trump voters. It was pretty iconic. If all you know about Fifth Harmony is that they have some songs on the radio and an awful name, I suggest you get to know them better. They are a group of women of color who are taking down the patriarchy one hit bop at a time.

What you should listen to: She and Marian Hill recently came out with a song called “Back to Me” and it is DOPE. Also I just recommend all of Fifth Harmony’s music for a fun time with your pals. My personal favs are “Everlasting Love” (for a casual simp), “Reflection” (when you need a LOVE YOSELF tune), “No Way” (for a serious simp), and “All In My Head” (just for the good times).

When you should listen to this: Every month on the full moon. It’s perfect for background music as you practice your brujeria.

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