They see you, but do you see them?
Turns out the likelihood that you are aware of the lifeguard is in fact a function of age:
Here’s a further breakdown of some key points along the line:
a. Not Yet Alive
- The only true neutral in this world
b. The Youngins
- Point at you the second they walk into the room and ask parents what you’re doing there
- Always kind after being forcibly introduced by an adult figure
- Remember your name
- Refer to you with male pronouns if you’re wearing a baseball cap but open to change
- Swimming is a constant battle between need for life vest and hubris
- Will get out for snacks
- Have a deep respect for pool rules
- Chaotic Good
c. Teens
- Born to run
- Look at you multiple times before they do anything stupid/dangerous to see if you’re watching
- Go into pool with band aids
- Still get a kick out of boogie boards
- Tense up when using spray-on sunscreen but try to look cool about it
- Cheat reliably at Marco Polo
- Neutral Evil
d. Just Married
- Say hello and goodbye
- That’s about it
- Aren’t sure why their kids can’t go in doing a thunderstorm
- Read only magazines
- Are too stubborn to ask for help with the umbrellas
- Almost forget to take apple watch off before going in
- Lawful Neutral
e. Mid-Life Crisis
- Only speak to ask a favor or to ask where you go to college
- Know there’s no glassware allowed on deck and are pro enough bring box wine
- That being said will still spill it all over the place
- That being said will still offer you some
- That being said you are working and underage
- Stay until the exact minute the pool closes
- Chaotic Neutral
f. Gray Panthers
- The greatest
- Will feed you
- Bring books out onto patio but spend more time talking to other people about them than actually reading them
- Compare you to their grandchildren
- Ask what the water temperature is at least once a day
- Probably only live here during the summer
- Lawful Good
