Don’t ask how; we just ~know~
PBI Chilliwack Bomber:
Uninspired cowgirl after he’s had a long day out on the yacht.
Some spontaneous doggy style while the maid looks after the kids.
Quasi-outdoor sex after a long night in front of your Brookstone electric fire pit.
Half-assed spooning after the wine tasting failed to reignite the spark.
Shower sex chock-full of cussing when the shampoo bottle falls on your little toe.
Hot and heavy against the wall where you’re thinking about some exposed brick.
Post-polo anal that will never happen again.
Kensington Parka Fusion Fit:
A joyous romp before the matinee.
Missionary with the lights off to avoid looking at the haunting painting of a pointy-breasted lady you won at an auction.
Raw doggin it in the back of the Lexus after slapping on the third “My child is an honors student at Sparrow Meadow Academy” bumper sticker.
Giving oral in a lake house with a vast array of wall-mounted animal heads that will look upon this deed with neither approval nor damnation.
In a closet at the country club during your old friend Sylvia’s charity gala.
Some conciliatory hand stuff when your bonus was only 10% more than last year.
Receiving oral in a lake house while trying not to think about the dead-eyed stares of the wall-mounted animal heads and their collective air of chilling dispassion.
A quick bonk after you’ve made that reservation for 7:30 pm.
Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!