Your Favorite Motivational Phrases, Ruined

I understand the power of a motivating phrase or quote as much as the next person. They can be incredibly helpful for getting through tough times or pushing oneself to action. But some often-used motivational phrases are incredibly cliché, and others don’t even make sense. Please, allow me to open your eyes to some of the misleading motivational phrases out there, and expose them for the frauds they truly are.   

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

don’t fall, handsome squidward!

If you fall down once, you stand up once; so if you fall down seven times, you only stand up seven times! Obviously, whoever came up with this quote didn’t have a basic understanding of math, or maybe didn’t know how to count yet. This combined with the fact that the phrase is about maintaining balance makes me hypothesize that a baby learning to walk came up with this one.

 

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” –Will Rogers

Sorry, Rogers, but I disagree. I took Principles of Econ last year, so I know how money works! Capitalism, my good man! Investing! Stocks! Other words about the economy!

 

“There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

Well then how do the rich old white men on Wall Street get to their jobs on the top floors of the big skyscrapers!!!

 

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” –Ray Kroc

 

Alright, I exercise every day, and I don’t really feel like the amount of sweat I create through exercise is causally related to how lucky I am. I sweat a lot – if this quote were accurate, I would’ve won the lottery by now. If anything, this quote makes me want to re-watch Just My Luck starring Chris Pine and Lindsay Lohan.

 

“Live each day as if your life had just begun.” –Johann Wolfgang

 

Imagine waking up every morning as if your life had just begun. Every day, you are a newborn baby, crying and unable to complete basic tasks by yourself. You never age. Eternal youth. You are a baby vampire.

 

“You’ll find love when you stop looking.”

Oh! Wow, I didn’t know it was that easy. I’ll just stop checking Brown Bears Admirers. And then I’ll immediately meet my one true love, right? Haha. Right??

 

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