A Recipe for the Perfect Millennial Woman

Here’s how you make her. It shouldn’t be too hard – the ingredients aren’t particularly hard to come by.

3/4 of a share in an eco-friendly business minded startup

1 post-grad boyfriend

1 vintage baseball cap, worn forwards or backwards, but definitely on Sundays (don’t know why, but this is just a thing)

5 days a week without makeup (although she’s likely wearing makeup but no one can tell)

3 mile run before her…

6 SoulCycle classes/week

1 alarm set, because she doesn’t need snooze – she’s a morning person, duh

3 pairs of trendy workout leggings that will be the only leggings she ever wears in public

1-2 thought pieces published on contributor-based websites

2 parents in the suburbs

60-100 likes per Instagram post, because she’s well-liked, but not a desperate teenager #like4like

2 go-to cocktails, 1 whiskey, 1 gin

5-7 Apple products (iPad, iPhone, iHome, iPod, MacBook, iMac, and that new watch thing)

1 cold-pressed coffee in the morning

1 green juice after the coffee

3 resumé titles labeled as “Social Media Manager”

2 pairs of heeled leather booties

2 websites, not counting an incredibly detailed LinkedIn: 1 personal blog, 1 professional one

7 pairs of skinny jeans, variety of color

1 ‘witty’ brain

Send to mid-tier state school with a good football team, or New England liberal arts university. Grad school optional, not necessary. Send on study abroad if desired, and let simmer in New York City for a minimum of three years.

Enjoy!

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