This past Tuesday, it was 57 degrees Fahrenheit outside. The next morning, it snowed as I was walking to class. While these erratic weather changes are annoying, they are par for the course based on what we’ve been experiencing this year so far. We get warmth and sunshine only to have it undercut by a snow day the following week. We dress up in layers only to have to strip them off by day’s end. During the warmer days, I hear people say, “I’m really happy about this weather, but it makes me really uncomfortable.” Why? “Because shouldn’t be this warm in February! We’re destroying the planet.”
Honestly? So fucking what. For a while now, I have been openly pro-global warming, and this is exactly why. The way I see it, if we’re gonna die anyway, we may as well be warm while we’re still here. Winter is so depressing, you guys. It’s always dark out, and you have to wear four thousand layers, and weather gets in the way of everything. That thing where you go outside with wet hair and it immediately freezes? What is that?! Cold weather is not anything anybody should be actively desiring, ever.
Why would you when you could be basking in the sunshine all day long? Warm weather is so lovely and welcoming. Those days it was warm outside earlier this winter, everybody was outside, socializing and smiling. It was like the population of the school doubled. People were in better moods, wearing cuter clothes, getting their vitamin D, and just generally livin’ their best lives. Best of all, there were free tables at the Ratty during the lunchtime rush because people were eating outside. Definitely an improvement over those days where no matter how hard you try, you always find yourself soaking wet, shaking off like a dog anytime you walk into a building.
As a native of Israel/California, I’ve never had this problem before. I’ve never lived anywhere with a “proper winter,” so I’m not afraid of warm weather in February. “But Leeron,” you say, “That’s normal there. Not here. Different climates should have different seasonal behaviors.” And to that I say, I’m happy to see the rest of the world catching up to where my beloved homes have been for years now.
“But Leeron,” you try again, “The icecaps are melting. The crops are dying. The sea level will rise and coastal towns will drown and we won’t have anything to eat and the polar bears will die.” Okay, but
- when was the last time you cared about an icecap,
- modern farming is becoming more technologically innovative and controlled-environment agriculture is a thing,
- we can drain the sea (right? probably?), and
- polar bears will adapt and evolve because that’s what animals do.
“But Leeron,” you say, desperate to make me see the light, “Climate change doesn’t just mean warmer weather. It means more extreme temperatures in both directions. It’ll get colder, too!”
Yes. But that’s climate change. I’m talking about global warming. Totally different things.
Image via Annie Warner.