Bad Bathroom Advice Giver

There is always that moment where you have to give advice to another lady in the bathroom. Normally, I have always risen to the cause and given the expected support. “No, you’re so pretty!” or “They’re not worth it!” Tonight was different. Tonight, I overheard a younger girl in the bathroom, wondering aloud whether she should open her heart up to a guy. All of her friends shouted, “yes,” and I told her “no.”

I didn’t know this person, but I feel like I’ve been alive long enough to know the cute answer isn’t always the best one. I would love to tell every bathroom biddy that they should let that ‘rando’ in, but it’s not true! Sometimes, other people stink. Sometimes, you shouldn’t let your guard down. Sometimes, you need to be a badass female-identifying person, and not care whether someone thought you were cute at a party.

I really did not want to be the Moaning Myrtle in that bathroom. True love is dope (literally), but it doesn’t happen for everyone in college. As lame as it is, I, SWUG Dorman, have become the voice of reason in drunken bathroom get-togethers. Protect your hearts and y0ur cellphones, and be happy at events because you’re a successful-ass human, not because you made out with your date.

Image via Caitlin Dorman ’16.

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