So the Super Bowl just happened. A ball was thrown, some large men were tackled, and the Broncos emerged victorious. But let’s be honest: how many of us were actually watching for the football? My main attractions: the chips and dip, adorable puppy commercials, and the wildly over-hyped halftime show.
When I heard that Coldplay was performing, I was pretty okay with that. Would I really be human if “Fix You” didn’t make me cry a little on the inside? Plus, every time I remember that lead vocalist Chris Martin “consciously uncoupled” from ex-wife and Goop-guru Gwyneth Paltrow, it brings a contented smirk to my face. Coldplay’s performance would be easy on the ears and delightfully undramatic, since they’re all mellow and middle-aged and have been a band for as long as I have been a human. But of course this is not exactly the kind of halftime show that draws people in, so I wasn’t surprised when they revealed that some hip, “young” artist would be joining Coldplay. Got to be relevant to those millennials after all.
But when they announced that it was Beyoncé who was joining them, I was taken aback. SHE ALREADY HAD A HALFTIME SHOW. In 2013. Only three years ago. She reunited Destiny’s Child for ten minutes and America lost its collective mind. Yeah, you remember. Because it was literally three years ago. How could anyone have forgotten it yet? Inviting Beyoncé to do a second halftime show is just unoriginal. I know many people worship the ground she walks on, but I’m not one of them.
It’s hard to explain how I feel about her, exactly. I fully agree that she has a great voice. She does look **flawless all the time. And I won’t deny that it was pretty impressive when she dropped that surprise album.
But she has a lot of songs that I don’t really like. So do a lot of other artists. Everyone is entitled to have a favorite musician, but I fail to understand why Beyoncé is the favorite of so many people. Do they really think she deserves to be called “Queen Bey” and placed on a pedestal? No one is perfect, not even Beyoncé. (Whoops, time to join a witness protection program before the Beyhive finds me!) Maybe I’m just bitter that she wrote a song that makes it okay to target the single ladies at a wedding and make them dance to it before the bride throws the bouquet. I don’t know if that song is supposed to be empowering, but it can be pretty darn humiliating too.
Seriously, did they have to ask Beyoncé to perform again? Could they really not find someone else who could liven up Coldplay’s set? There are plenty of young and talented artists on the music scene right now. Am I really supposed to believe that none of them would have said yes?
To add insult to injury, this past week they announced that Bruno Mars was coming back for a second time too. He performed in 2014, which is even more recently than Beyoncé! What is this nonsense? Did Pepsi back out and now this was the halftime show sponsored by Déjà Vu? I know that these shows aren’t known so much for their music as for their wardrobe malfunctions and dysfunctional left sharks, but is it really too much to ask that they at least try to be original? Super Bowl 50, and by extension its halftime show, should be capital-L-Legendary. The idea of repeat performers just didn’t feel special enough.
My doubts lessened slightly when Beyoncé dropped her new music video on Saturday. “Formation” caused a sizable ripple in the online world, and after watching it, I had to give Beyoncé some credit. I still wasn’t running to join the Beyhive, but she is doing some important work with this song, so kudos to her.
Going into the halftime show, my expectations remained pretty low. Hadn’t I basically seen this same show before, just a few short years ago? But I tried to keep an open mind, and honestly the whole thing was pretty great. Coldplay was just as neutrally mellow as they always are; I might describe their performance as “charming” in the sort of questionably complimentary way that word can be used. And while the lights, dancing flowers, and cheery teenagers perked up their set, it was not enough to make it a memorable show. Which is where Beyoncé and Bruno Mars were supposed to come in. And they delivered. They both sang and danced and made the crowd scream with delight. Their dance-off was like a scene out of West Side Story and it made my little heart sing.
They made Coldplay cooler, adding some ~edgier~ street-cred to the corny closing number. They were (Uptown) funky and fierce and even **flawless.
I’m not going to pretend that coming back for a second halftime show doesn’t still seem excessive to me. They both danced on their own faces during the montage of past performers, for goodness sake. That should not be allowed to happen! But while they may have stolen the show at times, it didn’t seem like that was their intention. They’d had their chances to shine, and this was about supporting Coldplay. Plus, it’s not their fault if people love them more than Coldplay and are calling Chris Martin the Left Shark of 2016. While I would have loved it if the halftime show had brought some new talents to the stage, it really was a decent show, so I’m going to cut them some slack. Even Beyoncé, as long as she doesn’t get any ideas about doing a third one. Pretty sure not even actual royalty would get three shows.