What Women Want: More Accurate Jeopardy! Answers

This past Monday, beloved dinnertime game show Jeopardy! included a category entitled “What Women Want.” Rather than address legitimate necessities, however, it emphasized our fragile female needs for vacuum cleaners, the New York Times crossword puzzle, and Sleepytime tea. I’ll take “Not So Subtle Sexism” for $200, Alex.

Instead of angrily writing about the many problems with airing something like this, I decided to come up with some alternative answers for the category. Jeopardy! producers reading this, I am available this weekend for consultation. Let’s start the show!

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What are “realistic standards of beauty?”

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What is “entertainment featuring complex and diverse female characters?”

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What is “equal pay?”

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What is “birth control covered by my insurer?”

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What is “not catcall women?”