Halloween is over, and normally I would be bummed. While early fall is marked by mild weather, vibrant leaves, and spooky festivities, the latter half is cold, and centered on a holiday that celebrates pilgrims being huge assholes. Luckily, I have something to keep me warm this November. No, it’s not a relationship – don’t be an idiot. My saving grace this month will be . . . MY LEG HAIR! (Also my armpits probably, ’cause who has the time for that?)
Last year, I participated in No Shave November. I wrote about it, and fielded a bit of criticism from the corner of the male population that magically become activists when the date is more than October 31st, and less than December 1st. Case in point:
Dammit, “Janet.”
How dare I belittle the magic of Movember? To clarify some of my #1 fan’s points, “No Shave November” refers to people who choose to grow scruff everywhere to make a statement, while “Movember” is a movement where men grow mustaches in order to raise awareness, and money, for men’s health issues. Because cis-men issues always seem to get overlooked in our damn patriarchal society. . . oh wait . . .
Moving away from politics, I have decided that random internet troll wasn’t completely wrong. Despite the fact that mustaches both creep me out and bring out my weird Daddy issues, the health of all humans is important to me. So, as of now, I will be raising awareness about prostate cancer, from my waist down!
You heard right. In the next less-than-30 days, you may ask me about my leg hair, and I will tell you to be aware of men’s health*. If you are so inclined to pledge money to my furry bottom limbs, I will donate that money to the corresponding men’s health charities (because those exist). And yes, you may even stroke my fuzzy skin, although it will cost you extra.
So this month, let’s make it about shorter showers, pricklier pants, and healthy testicles. Happy Mo-Leg-Vember!
*If you ask about anything besides my hairy legs, I will continue with my usual agenda.
Images via Caitlin Dorman ’16, and via.
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