Ruined Dreams and Coffee Beans

I didn’t think he even noticed me. I’m just an ordinary, regular girl who orders a skinny vanilla latte every morning. I go in to Starbucks only looking for a caffeine boost. Little did I know that I was in store for something much more “grande.”

The barista always takes my order with such ease and precision; he really makes sure I get exactly what I want. “That’ll be $4.59,” he says with a coy smirk. I take my time handing him my money, ignoring the line forming behind me, impatient students tapping their feet, trying to make it in time for class. Can’t they see the twinkle in our eyes? My hand accidently grazes his. Does he feel something too?

It took him two months. Two months of pretending we didn’t know each other. Two months of acting like I was just the customer and he the barista. For the hundredth time he asked me my name to put on my drink. “Oh, it’s Allie,” I innocently replied. “I should remember that, you come in everyday,” he answered. I laughed playfully along with him.

I walked in the next day, confident in my newfound friendship with this Starbucks barista. I ordered, ready for him to recognize me, but he made no mention of knowing who I was. As I was about to walk away from the counter, a defeated woman, he stopped me and said, “Allie, since we’re friends, can I tell you something?” My heart started racing. Did he want to get to know me better? Or even tell me that the next drink I ordered was on him? “Yes?” I eagerly answered.

He paused, then said, “Uh, you have like eye liner or something smudged all over your cheek.”

Fuck, I thought. To the barista I just laughed and made a joke about how it’s too early for me to function properly. In just one day, Starbucks Barista Man and I formed a relationship like that of a couple married for 20 years. A relationship where he can basically tell me I need to get my shit together.

Just when I thought I was making a name for myself here. Just when I thought I found someone new in my life, all my dreams are crushed. Starbucks Barista Man, I thought you were kind and considerate of my feelings. Now you feel the need to point out how terribly my morning is going? You have ruined my Starbucks for me. Now every time I walk in, I’m just going to be Makeup All Over My Fucking Face Girl to you. Nothing more. I guess I’ll just have to start over with the Blue State Barista Man.

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