The Yogurt Analogy

By April 1, 2014

My good friend Wendy bestowed this wisdom upon me a couple of years ago and it blew my mind. This will forever change the way you discuss your significant others and love interests. You’re welcome.

Plain Yogurt

Plain Yogurt

This guy or gal is pretty “meh.” They’re perfectly nice, and totally inoffensive, but they don’t have much flavor or substance. Very palatable, but very boring. Next.

Fruit-Mixed-In Yogurt

Fruit-Mixed-In Yogurt

This significant other is really the total package – just an all around great person. You know exactly what you’re signing up for from the get-go: flavorful and fun. The fruit-mixed-in lover is a keeper.

Fruit-on-the-Bottom Yogurt

Fruit-on-the-Bottom Yogurt

This is arguably the most exciting type of man or woman – although it takes a little digging to reveal their true, delicious colors. This person may initially strike you as a “plain yogurt,” but as you continue eating them – er, getting to know them – you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what you find beneath the surface.

Expired Yogurt

Expired Yogurt

Ew. The Expired Yogurt lover is the person that you know you’re not supposed get involved with, but you still do it anyways. This yogurt/person is bad news, but you turned a blind-eye to its expiration date and decided to dig in anyways. You will always regret this decision! It goes without staying that expired yogurt will leave a bad taste in your mouth and probably make you violently ill. There are other, fresher yogurts in the dairy aisle.

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