Pros and Cons of Young Adult Life

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There’s only one responsible way to handle a major life decision: by making a list comparing pros, cons, and other considerations. Here are your pros and cons lists for the next one to four years of your life.

Choosing between classes:

Class A Class B
Pro: No tests Con: Final on Christmas Eve
Con: No boys Pro: Hot boys (not that I ever make class friends, but they’re nice to look at)
Con: Not even a single 3rd-degree aquaintance in class Pro: Class is full of friends and roommates. If I break both legs, they will carry me there. Also, they take notes.
Pro: Explores a deep lifelong interest Pro: Easy A that knocks out a concentration requirement
You have to actually know the material. Not sure if this is a pro or a con. Con: Participation is 80% of grade
Pro/Con: Teacher is hot, but has terrible handwriting and speaks in a monotone Pro/Con: Teacher is highly quotable and adept with technology, but you never can tell what will actually be on the test
Con: Group Projects Con: Tests
Pro: Meets once a week Con: Meets three time a week
Con: Meets from 8am-12pm. If hungover, will perish Pro: Meets at a magical hour that allows you to sleep all morning and yet doesn’t interfere with lunchtime.

Choosing between jobs:

Job A Job B
Big company. After exhaustive research, I have yet to determine whether this is a pro or a con. Small Company. See big company.
Pro: Fall Start date Con: Start work the day after graduation
Pro: Definitely full of hot young people Con: Possibly only a handful of old weirdos. Maybe a diamond in the rough, though.
Con: Will spend days color-coding spreadsheets Pro: Will do meaningful work
Lukewarm Pro: Tangentially related to long term goals Dazzling Pro: Direct fullfillment of lifelong dreams
Pro: Free gym access Con: Near-certain asbestos in office walls
Pro: Livable salary Con: Might as well be paid in sacks of potatoes
Con: Open office floor plan (no porn @lunch) Pro: A nice corner to lurk in
Relative Con: Located in a cool city with bad weather Pro: Located in a cool city with good weather
Relative Pro: Hazes new hires by making them take shots Serious Con: Hazes new hires by making them drink arsenic
Dubious Factoid: CEO is also a semi-pro snake charmer There really is no partner consideration for this one.

Choosing between cities to live in after graduation:

City A City B
Con: occasional winter Con: frequent, though minor, fireball showers
Con: Too much brunch Con: Not enough brunch
Con: frequent dog poop in the streets Con: occasional human poop in the streets
Close to home. Time will tell if this is a pro or a con. Might as well be located on neptune.
Con: Sidewalks are a disagreeable color Pro: Really awesome and unique selection of candy available everywhere.
Pro: Free wifi everywhere! Incl. underground Pro: A beach
Pro: Public transportation that literally goes everywhere, at temperatures meant to support human life. Con: Public transportation only in the form of free unicycles
Con: Where can I find a nice, cheap place to live? Con: I still don’t know how to find a decent place to live.

You’re welcome.

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