There are two things that women in Hollywood are always being mercilessly judged for. The first is their dating life. Taylor Swift (who is generally a problematic person, I know, I get it, but not for this particular thing) gets this a lot whenever she’s seen with a new guy. Kristen Stewart was aggressively slut-shamed when it came out that she had cheated on Rob Pattinson, even though people don’t bat an eyelash when guys do the exact same thing. It’s gross and we’re not gonna do that here.
The other thing people judge women for is their appearance/taste in clothes. That’s also gross, but we’re gonna do that here. Welcome to “Who Wore It Best: Joe Jonas Edition,” where we evaluate which of Joe Jonas’s previous girlfriends wore him best. Let’s begin.
Taylor Swift
Speaking of Taylor, she did pretty well with this one. Back in ‘08, Taylor accessorized her Joe with a beautiful gold outfit that made her look like a gladiator goddess. And that smug smile, like she knows she’s on the brink of becoming hot shit? Good, good, and good. Bonus points for getting him to do those T. rex arms. Score: 7/10
Ashley Greene
Next up, we have Ashley Greene wearing this disaster. That coat? Too big on her. That other coat? Too big on him. Her headband is tacky, and his hair looks not great, and those smiles scream, “We don’t like this.” Not to mention he outed to the world that she took his virginity? Poor girl. Truly a tragic fit. 0/10.
Demi Lovato
Here, believe it or not, is a picture of Demi Lovato wearing the Joe Jonas. I know. It is really them. So right away, we’re off to a horrendous start with all that Photoshop. This picture is from Teen Vogue, where Joe and Demi did a joint interview and somehow managed to break up before it even came out, so they had to tack on a weird alternate ending with each of them commenting on the breakup. Yikes. And then Demi got depressed and had to go to rehab and put out a sad memoir and an album of poorly written empowerment songs? There’s nothing of any merit here. -10/10
Gigi Hadid
Then there’s 4th of July Gigi showing off her 4th of July Joe. She boldly paired this special holiday edition Joe with a blue and white bikini, striped towels, and, what’s that? His ex-girlfriend’s house? Duuuude. Wow. Fearless. Especially since this ex-girlfriend is notoriously catty about her guys’ new girls. Well done, Gigi. I can even look past that awful “G. I. Joe” couple name. 10/10.
The JoBros
Not a girl, but look at those shirts. Those pants. Those facial expressions. That hair. Everything about this. Clearly these guys wore it best. Damn, boys. Lookin’ good. 10000/10.