A Joint Piece by Leeron and Noga Lempel
I don’t know about you, but my summer was almost perfect. I say almost because while it was quite spectacular, I am disappointed I didn’t get to go home. There’s a lot of people in Israel I would have loved to see, especially my sisters, who are my all time faves.
But lucky for me, I have one here right now!! Her name’s Noga and she’s the bomb dot com. She’s been staying with me for the past week, and we decided to take this opportunity to see how well we know each other. My fellow Ribbies submitted questions for us to answer, to see how our answers would align, Newlywed Game style. How’d we do? Mediocre! See for yourself:
Question 1: What is Leeron’s worst quality?
NOGA: All of her bad qualities can be easily condensed into one umbrella term, so I wrote “mean.”
LEERON: I guessed she’d say “bathroom dictatorship” because she used that phrase earlier this week. Also, bathroom stuff caused 99% of our arguments when we lived together.
Score: 0/1
Question 2: Noga’s?
LEERON: She doesn’t have many bad qualities, but she sucks at being still. So I said “Always jiggling unnecessarily.” “Making noise unnecessarily” also works.
NOGA: My guess for this one was “loud+doors” because I used to keep my door open while talking on the phone and playing music. She hated that and we would fight over my door constantly. Definitely unnecessary noise but I don’t think that counts.
Score: 0/2
Question 3: Leeron’s best quality?
NOGA: I wrote “has goals+driven.” The main quality Leeron has that I don’t have as much is an intense motivation. Not only does she know exactly what she wants, but this girl goes and gets it.
LEERON: I guessed “Driven ???” Hooray!! First one right!
Score: 1/3
Question 4: Noga’s?
LEERON: Lots of things that basically amount to the same thing – her best quality is that she’s positive/upbeat/friendly/caring, all things I’ll never be.
NOGA: One of my main characteristics is my friendliness, and that’s also one of the big differences between us. Easy guess!
Score: 2/4
We skipped questions 5 & 6, “What behavior or quirk of yours drives Leeron/Noga crazy?” because we thought our answers would be the same as for the first two.
Question 7: Which celeb does Leeron love the most?
NOGA: Miranda Lambert no question! You don’t have to be her sister to know this, it’s common knowledge.
LEERON: Lol yeah, it’s Miranda Lambert.
Score: 3/5
Question 8: Noga?
LEERON: This was hard because she doesn’t love him as much as I love Miranda, but I went with my gut – Jared Padalecki.
NOGA: He has such a beautiful smile.
Score: 4/6
Question 9: Which celeb does Leeron hate with the intensity of a thousand suns?
NOGA: I had a few options, but loving Miranda Lambert goes hand in hand with hating Gwen Stefani (she stole her man!) so that was my guess. I promise Lena Dunham crossed my mind though so maybe half a point?
LEERON: I do hate a lot of people, but Lena Dunham especially grinds my gears. Gwen Stefani is not a bad guess, even though she didn’t steal her man!! The marriage ended because Miranda cheated, everybody should know this!!
NOGA: I didn’t know this…
Score: 4/7
Question 10: Noga?
LEERON: I thought about this for a while before saying “I feel like you don’t really hate anybody.” Noga agreed with me, so we both wrote “Nobody.” This still counts though because we thought of it independently before discussing.
NOGA: What is hate? Why do people feel it?
Score: 5/8
Question 11: If you found out Leeron got arrested, what would you assume the charge was?
NOGA: In high school she wrote a song about murdering her teacher. So…
LEERON: I knew there was only one possible thing she could be writing by the sheer speed at which she picked an answer.
Score: 6/9
Question 12: Noga?
LEERON: Noga would only get arrested for something dumb with good intentions behind it. I wrote “Protest.”
NOGA: Honestly, I’m such a weenie that I wouldn’t even be arrested for protesting. If I got arrested it would have to be a mistake so I wrote “framed by you.”
Score: 6/10
Question 13: What does Leeron think she’s good at but actually isn’t?
NOGA: An actual thing my sister said earlier this week: “I’m a good roommate.” Another actual thing she said, after being asked if she would watch her movie with headphones in because I was trying to sleep: “No, I don’t like headphones.” Bad roommate.
LEERON: Okay, wow, clarification – I was talking about being a good roommate over the summer, when I shared common spaces where people weren’t trying to sleep, but still had my own private room for privacy and not wearing headphones. Shut up. Anyway, I guessed she would say “Sharing/Cleanliness/Taste in music,” which mostly is the same thing?
Score: 6/11
Question 14: Noga?
LEERON: I said “Sick burns” because she tries so hard yet burns so mild. Like yesterday, when she walked into my room and said “hola” and then a couple seconds later she was like “Get it, cause you’re a ho.” Wow. Got me good, sis. How will I recover.
NOGA: Leeron shuts down my jam sessions constantly, so I guessed “singing.” Sick burns is a good one though. When you have Leeron for a sister it’s hard to live up to the bullying expectations, the bar’s so high!
Score: 6/12
Rapid Fire 1: Most likely to get arrested.
NOGA: I’m a square who follows rules. She’s insane and murder-y so… Leeron. Duh.
LEERON: Me for sure.
Score: 7/13
RF 2: Marry a convict.
NOGA: We had the same thought process here. Leeron doesn’t want to get married and I do, so if anyone would marry in general it would be me.
LEERON: Ummm yeah, what she said.
Score: 8/14
RF 3: Marry a celebrity.
NOGA: Ditto. Unrelated, I would make a better trophy wife.
LEERON: Now I want to get married just to prove I’d be better. But yeah, it’s Noga.
Score: 9/15
RF 4: Win a baking competition.
NOGA: Quote from Leeron: “If I tried to make a salad I would probably set it on fire.” So me.
LEERON: I don’t remember saying that, but it sounds like me. Unclear whether I meant it regarding my lack of cooking skills or pyromaniacal tendencies. This one’s definitely Noga.
Score: 10/16
RF 5: Get a crazy haircut and pull it off .
NOGA: The craziest thing I’ve done with my hair is convert my side part to a new and improved center part. If anyone was to get a spontaneous crazy haircut at all it would be Leeron.
LEERON: I said Noga because while we’re both unlikely to get crazy haircuts, Noga’s more likely to pull it off? She embraces everything she does, even if it turns out poorly, unlike me.
Score: 10/17
RF 6: Be on the cover of TIME Magazine.
NOGA: Leeron has some mad TV production goals, and is already headed towards working in that area. Of the two of us, she would find enough success to warrant something like that. I would marry the celebrity, but she would be the celebrity.
LEERON: Me, duhhhhhhhhh.
Final Score: 11/18. Same as the ratio between our heights! Heyo! Looks like I’m better at sick burns on myself than Noga is! Suck it, dummy.