Shame on Me: Urban Outfitters Guilt

One of the most popular spots in good ole PVD is Thayer Street. It’s so accessible for us Brown students; I mean, it’s right Thayer! Get it? Thayer/there? Ha! Thayer has eateries to satisfy any craving, a CVS, and…an Urban Outfitters.  I have a real love-hate relationship with Urban, the hangout for hipsters, the place for posers, the region of reproductions. But at the same time, they often have exactly what I’m looking for.

A few weeks ago, I was looking for a flannel to wear for a project I was doing. I had a specific image in mind of a pink and black flannel.  So, I went down Thayer stopping in the Army Surplus Store, Second Time Around, Francesca’s, even CVS. No flannels anywhere. I knew where I needed to go, and I was dreading it.

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Please. Anything but this.

I dragged my feet over the threshold of Urban Outfitters, shielding my face from both the overbearing store greeter and from anyone who might recognize me. I hooked off to the right, away from the registers, hiding behind displays as I searched for my flannel.  I clung to garments hanging on the racks, tripping over my feet which were trying to take me back to safety outside the store. My mind was racing.

This is wrong. I shouldn’t be in here. The prices are ridiculous. Urban Outfitters steals designers’ art. There are so many controversies like the ‘Eat Less’ shirt—

Bam. Just like that. I found my flannel. On sale, too.

Oh my GOD, I’m such a hypocrite. Stop taking it off the rack! No! What’s happening, I’m putting it on. I should put it back on the hanger right now and leave with my dignity—

The perfect fit, perfect colors. So comfortable and soft.

At this point, I should’ve paid for the flannel and left. But I’m a bigger hypocrite than I let on. Somehow, my feet took me upstairs and I found a cute shirt on sale for $6.99. Of course I picked that up. Then, at the register, there was a little bottle of beautiful magenta nail polish for 39 cents. Yeah, you read that right, thirty-nine cents! So yeah, I took that too.  If all of this isn’t bad enough, I got conned into signing up for the UO Rewards Program and got 20% off my entire purchase. What is wrong with me?

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Everyone knows what I’ve done. I am ashamed.

I left Urban that day with those three items. I hate how much I love them. The guilt is powerful, but darn it, the flannel is so cute, and it matches the nail polish! I will wear my purchases proudly because damn they look good on me, but forever embedded in the fibers of the flannel is the knowledge that I have zero conviction.

Images via, and via.

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