Upon learning about reincarnation during a world religions class in high school, I imagined what hideous crimes I must have committed in my past life to deserve having to live the tortured life of a teenage girl living a fairly privileged life in a first world country. Not holding the door open for a stranger? Chewing with my mouth open? Intentionally not saying “bless you” after someone sneezed? In an attempt to improve my karma in the hopes of being reborn as something better, like a glorified house pet, I decided to stop being so self-centered and think about others for once. So, naturally, my thoughts turned to Beyoncé.
I genuinely wondered what Beyoncé did in her previous life to be reborn as the universally beloved shining beacon of goodness in our increasingly dark world. My mind swirled with visions of rescued orphans in anonymous third world countries and sweet, innocent puppies being saved from abandonment on the side of the road.
Suddenly, it hit me that the current lives we’re living are just stages in our souls’ ultimate journey. This means that Beyoncé’s body might not be her soul’s final destination. I struggled to cope with my Beyoncé-induced existential crisis. Is there anything better than Bey? Will a greater being exist in the future? Is Beyoncé the equivalent of a level 100 Pokémon? Beyoncé-mon?
Perhaps Beyoncé is truly the best there is and the best there ever will be. In that case, I suppose that means Beyoncé will achieve moksha (liberation) from the cycle of samsara (rebirth). But who will be our Beyoncé equivalent when she does her “Single Ladies” shuffle all the way to paradise? This is our opportunity, y’all. It’s time to start doing good deeds. After all, one of us could be the next Beyoncé in just one short lifetime from now.
This is amazing!!!