Snapchat is Ruining My Life

I am a typical millennial. I am obsessed with Instagraming artsy pictures of food. I spend more time on my phone during family gatherings than fighting with my conservative relatives. And I care more about maintaining my snapstreaks on Snapchat than most things in my life. Oh wait, is that just me?

So, turns out I have a serious problem. My life now revolves around an image messaging application software product that really has no purpose. I have been a user for a very long time. I remember when the ghost logo used to have a smiley face. I distinctly recall the day when they introduced the idea of “stories.” Back then, there was no such thing as a filter. There was no quick, easy way to tell your friends your current location. Over the years, I have watched this app’s evolution to its current form. I feel like a proud mother.

The advent of “snapstreaks” was a turning point in my relationship with Snapchat. Every day I would just arbitrarily send snaps to my friends whether it was a selfie in particularly good lighting, a picture of all my homework with a frowny face, or food to make everyone jealous. With the introduction of snapstreaks, my snapchats finally had some purpose. I had found my true calling in life.

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My highest snapstreak with someone is 375. We’ve been going at this for more than a year. If you didn’t think I had a problem before, now you know. Maintaining a snapstreak is a true commitment between two individuals. You have to trust one another to remember to send a snapchat each day. It’s a sign of betrayal when one breaks a snapstreak. It’s a metaphor. If we can’t maintain a simple streak on Snapchat, can this friendship really last? Sometimes, I’ll gently remind you in all caps at three in the morning to send me a snapchat so we can keep the snapstreak alive. I’m such a good friend.

I’ve come to the realization that my obsession with snapstreaks might not be too healthy. My priorities aren’t in order. I am more concerned about maintaining my streaks than my grades. As my grades get lower, my snapstreaks get higher. It’s a tough choice. A trade-off. But it is one that I’m willing to make. Maybe one day I will make it into the Guinness Book of World Records for having the highest snapstreak in history. My parents would be so proud of me. Hopefully? Yeah, not really.

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