To: Potential Theatre Producers
From: An aspiring theatre-maker
Subject: A proposal for the next biggest theatrical sensation! (Not Hamilton)
An Introduction…
When I was a fetus, my parents took me to see my first Broadway show. Actually, it wasn’t technically on Broadway because we didn’t live anywhere near New York City, plus my parents already thought that paying ten bucks to see a movie was excessive, so they never would’ve went for the standard $100 ticket to see live theatre. And I wasn’t a fetus, because I’m referring to this past summer when I was eighteen. What actually happened was that my parents forgot to turn off the TV after watching the morning news, and I accidentally ended up watching the movie version of Cats on PBS.
But even though my exposure to the beauty, grandeur, and depth of the theatre was a pure accident, I had a feeling that fate had led me to this piece of live entertainment as a sign for what was to come. It was in that moment that I decided I wanted to make theatre. Theatre that was just as groundbreaking, revolutionary, as the first musical I had seen.
Unfortunately, as luck would have it, Hamilton has procured many of the resources (including producers, cast members, and media attention) that I had hoped my potential piece of theatre would have gained. However, I have not lost hope; and am proposing to you, theatre producers and my potential business partners, a piece of theatre that is nothing like you have ever seen before.
My Vision…
What I am proposing to you is a devised piece, created exclusively by the cast and directors of this project. It will be both refined, yet gritty; inspiring, yet heartbreaking; simplistic, yet complicated; long, yet short. Beyond juxtapositions, the piece will include original music featuring the styles of golden age Broadway, pop, pop rock, angsty pop, indie pop, hipster indie pop, hipster indie pop that legitimately no one knows about, rap, hip-hop, and more. The piece will eventually have a narrative, but also will be loose and free, without the boundaries of a story to hold it in place. Actors will devise their own costumes, but will all be united by a paper bag over their heads and a detectable cat tail at the end of their backs.
My hope is that the show will make people think, laugh, chuckle, cry, sneeze, cough, inspire, de-inspire, and ignite a revolution throughout the nation and the world.
Because of the unpredictable nature of this project, I am requesting the very reasonable budget of $1,000,000 for funding.
My Rehearsal Process…
Each rehearsal will start with a two hour check in/check out session, in order to ensure a sense of community and comfort between all the actors and creative team. I intend to engage the cast in exercises involving improv, sketch work, creative writing exercises, cult initiations, and martial arts training. I am hoping these exercises will push the cast to their limits and engage creative potential and activate parts of their brain and imagination they are not used to employing.
A Moment…
A blackout. Suddenly, a single spotlight on center stage. The actor runs out onstage, clutching a paper bag to their chest, looking fearfully towards the audience. A moment of silence. Then, the actor asks the audience, in a confident, yet shaky tone: “Who are YOU?” The actor puts the paper bag over their head. BLACKOUT.
My Team…
Regarding my creative team, I would like to say that I had already forced found a team of many adept and qualified people. However, Hamilton stole them all we disbanded over creative differences. Thus, because I am an extremely qualified individual, in addition to directing this project, I shall be assuming the additional roles of actor, musician, lyricist, costume designer, set designer, dramaturg, choreographer, lighting designer, technical director, child wrangler, production/general manager, and basically any other position that you could possibly think of.
*In the 50-page Appendix, please note all my previous experiences in all the above mentioned positions.
Why Now?
Why not???
*I’m not saying that I’ve currently exhausted my all funds, have no means of funding this project or my own lifestyle, and am living off of a couch in my parent’s basement because they thought I’d have a career by this point in my life and gave my room to my little brother, but…getting funding for this project would save me from impending starvation and certain embarrassment.
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