Author Archives for Allie Greenberg

Mark Zuckerberg PLEASE READ


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Hey Mark Zuckerberg! How’s it going? Is life treating you nicely? I bet it is, since you created Facebook and everything.  You can seriously do whatever you want. Must be nice. Anyway, I love Facebook. I’m a huge fan! But I also think you’re trying to sabotage me, Mark. Yes,... Read More


A Former Lover, Revisited


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Twenty-one has been a year of change for me. I am proud to say that I am finally in a steady, healthy relationship. Now you maybe thinking, wow this chick is really open about her love life. Slow down, this isn’t any normal relationship. There’s some history between us. Yes, that... Read More


Abroad Exposed


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I’m back on campus after having just spent the last semester abroad in Copenhagen, Denmark and I’m better than ever. Yes, I had an amazing time and I loved traveling around Europe, but I learned the hard way that it isn’t always Instagram worthy moments. People only think it is,... Read More


Ask Me About My Recessive Jaw


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Just when I thought all my dental problems were over, another issue arises. Despite the fact that I had braces six times, my teeth, like my cellulite, are not willing to work with me. For those unfamiliar with the whole story behind my never-ending tooth drama, please click this link for reference.... Read More


Spring Break Forevaaaa, Right?


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It’s the Monday after Spring Break and I still feel so wasted, even though I’ve been back from my beach vacation for two days already. It was just that wild. Basically Spring Breakers wild. But instead of Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and James Franco getting turnt, it was my mom,... Read More


On Taking a Class With Your Brother


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Now I know I have mentioned my brother several times on this publication – e.g.: he’s the perfect child and now he’s attending the same college as me – but we have made new developments in our sibling relationship. Not only do we both grace the same college campus, but now we... Read More


Straight Outta Pinterest


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There is no better feeling than taking Sharpie to canvas. I don’t feel anything but existential bliss when my gold marker glides perfectly along the surface, as if I’m painting with gold leaf. I look at my work, and admire how my golden doodles work in harmony with the robin’s... Read More


DAAAAAAMN Daniel, You’re Way Too Young


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I’ll admit it. I hopped right on the band wagon of the viral Internet sensation, “Damn Daniel.” I found the whole premise funny: strategically filming your friend and making the same comment every day and then compiling it into a montage. It’s good for a nice, one-time laugh. But amidst... Read More